Enthusiast of Things

Do you think about me on October 30th? Does Halloween haunt you the way it does me? I don’t believe you do. Your one night is my one life. Your name in songs hurt me. You are pathetic and weak, yet you’ve made me feel as though I am. I am strong and proud and resilient, yet I beg for a day where I am no longer needing resilience. I’ve suffered in silence for when I speak I am too loud and the crowd of listeners disippates. Tonight, I will weep for the small part of myself that is now poisoned by the embedding of your soul fractal that was left behind. Sometimes, the fractal of rage you left in me grows roots and spreads and infects my mind. Sometimes, I set fire to the roots and watch your planted misery suffocate. How I wish I could simply eradicate you from myself. Rip you from my memories, both physically and mentally. The memories creep up when I am touched softly from behind or when I am approached unannounced. Everyone feels like a threat now. Because I trusted you.